34 ( +1 | -1 ) JokesDoes anyone know any chess jokes or jokes related to chess? One-liners/short jokes best. These jokes would be aimed at a non-chess playing audience, so nothing too esoteric would be appropriate. Vulgar is good. They are for a best-mans speech - the groom plays chess as a hobby. Thank you
35 ( +1 | -1 ) A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
22 ( +1 | -1 ) Paul visits his friend Steve and finds him playing a game of chess with his dog. 'This dog of yours is really clever,' says Paul. Steve responds: 'Not really. He only wins one game in three.'
48 ( +1 | -1 ) I don't know too many chess jokes......but how about a funny story? The Yugoslav GM Boris Kostisch had just died,and there was a memorial tournament in his name organized. As the event went on,an American and a Yugoslav were running neck and neck for 1st place. The American complained to the organizers that the Yugoslav player was having all his games thrown to him,and what were they going to do about it? The answer was:"Nothing. That makes it a fitting memorial. Old Kostisch never was above buying or selling a game!"
27 ( +1 | -1 ) More ideas He can teach his wife mating positions
The old chestnut of "If you treat your wife like a queen she'll tell everyone who the king is"
Some trivia - In Australia there's a brand of condoms called "Checkmate" - just shows how seriously chess is taken in Australia.
24 ( +1 | -1 ) I see that in this post jokes can be said...2 friends see themselves by the street and one of them says: -My wife says that if tomorrow I go to the chess match, it will take my children and it will leave me. The other friend asks to him: -And what you will do? And the other answers to him: -E4, how always!
21 ( +1 | -1 ) speechI had to remove my chess joke from the speech as half the audience were very conservative, so no smut allowed. However the speech went down very well. Thanks again for responses..